Updated: May 14, 2020
Insecurities…. who wants to admit they have insecurities? It’s certainly not something I thought I would want to write about and definitely not something I would publicly share. But I have a sinking suspicion I am not alone. That a lot of people are out there at every stage of life secretly measuring themselves up to the person next to them.
This suspicion has lead me to share the technique I have used to stop comparing myself to others. It wasn’t some magical potion or years of therapy. It wasn’t expensive or time-consuming. In fact, the solution cost me nothing in both time and investment. It was using the power of words to change my perspective. I stumbled four influential verses which guided me to being OK with who I am, even happy with the girl named “Katie”.
Here’s the the four quotes I used to stop comparing myself to others. I hope they inspire you as much as they have inspired me.
Comparison is the thief of joy
I love this quote from our 26th president, Theodore Roosevelt. Constantly comparing ourselves to others robs us of so much – our happiness, our self-worth, and our joy. I had to ask myself what impact this “habit” was having on my life. Was it a positive one or a negative one? Why would I choose to allow my mind and thoughts to make me miserable?
Rather than comparing, I needed to uplift and support others. This is what brought me joy. I also had to remind myself that there is enough in this world for everyone. Your success does not take away from my own success and vice versa. It’s important to keep an abundance mindset than one of scarcity.
Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle
This quote is for all those 20 and 30 somethings that see their older friends and family with nice houses or a great career and get a tinge of jealousy. I know you’re out there because I have been there… many times. We often look at other people farther along in life and feel down about how not far along we are. We may be living in a rundown apartment (been there), stuck in a dead end career (been there) or using a hamburger bun as a taco shell because the grocery fund is at $0 (been there – tacos on a bun is not very appetizing).
It is so easy to look at where someone is now and not see all the struggle and time it took to get there. We don’t recognize that they had to start somewhere, too. If you are in the beginning of your journey, give yourself some grace. Eventually you’ll get where you are suppose to be. And it may not even include a fancy car or house in the suburbs. Your story has just begun.
Stay in your own lane
Many of us believe that we should be acting, doing, being like someone else. We see another person walking down the street that seems to have it all and we want that too. We see another person’s career path and want to do the same thing. Or we decide we want to lose weight and start comparing our body to that skinny mom at drop-off. Don’t focus on other people’s journeys. Yours is guaranteed to be different and that’s a good thing! You are on your path for a reason. It is your destiny. You will learn through your struggles and triumphs along the way. So stay in your lane!
It might have taken that mom years to get those toned arms or she may have never had to diet a day in her life? It really doesn’t matter. Because her reality will never be your reality. You are two different people. If you want to get fit, you’ll need to keep chugging along day after day until you reach your goals. Nothing will change that. So do yourself a favor and keep your eyes focused on your own path.
There’s Only One You
I love this quote from Neil Gaiman because it always reminds me to be, well, me! Why would I want to be anyone else besides myself? Gaiman is instructing us all to do a physical action — to physically go out and do what only we can do. Not to dream in our heads or say “Someday when the times right”.
He’s telling us to go out now and sing, dance, share your story and vision. When you stop measuring yourself up to others, you can truly start becoming the authentic, one-of-a-kind you! You are doing the world a disservice if you do anything less.
The Comparison Game is Harmful
Iyanla Vanzant, a famous inspirational speaker and lawyer, once said “Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” She is directly implying that playing the comparison game is not only unhealthy but actually a harmful action. I would agree. While you might not have physical scars, the emotional pain is there. Those feelings of self-hate, disappointment, even anger. They serve no purpose. We must break ourselves free of this hurtful cycle.
What Happens When You Stop Comparing
The good news is that the harmful effects of comparison almost instantaneously end when we learn to live with contentment. Choosing happiness over jealousy can bring so much joy and clarity and peace to our everyday. What’s even better is that, once I stopped trying to measure up to others, I began to focus more on my own goals and dreams. I finally believed that I was uniquely and wonderfully made. That I can offer something to this world that no one else can. What a gift! What a treasure! What an opportunity! I began to feel excited for my future rather than trying to copy someone’s else. When you stop comparing yourself to others you can finally begin living your best life! (tweet this)
Jealousy may not be physical clutter in our home but it is clutter within the heart. Something I believe everyone should strive to rid themselves of. I hope these quotes and sentiments start you on a path of discovering your own greatness!
*Give credit where credit is do. I created the beautiful posters using free clip art from Angie Makes. This is not a paid endorsement.